the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
