if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
