She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
