hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
