yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
