I seem to have left my pride at pride
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This toilet bowl is my home.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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