How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
