So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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