Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
