Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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