I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
