The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
