My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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