Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
