I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
