Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Randomize
