This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
