Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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