Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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