remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
