I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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