i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
