it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
