i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
