I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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