Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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