Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize