I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize