did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm both gender and math confused
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
