i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize