U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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