Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Shame is for Republicans.
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