I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
