Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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