I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
