I wish I could punch you in the face.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
