I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
