How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize