is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
