im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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