Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
