Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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