i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm at about main and main street
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize