This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
