she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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