could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my being single is dangerous.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
