whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
