He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
