I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he thought i was a dude.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
