What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
