I must be too annoying 4 u.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
