He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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