You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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