it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
