Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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