My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
