You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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