I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
