My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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